People often ask me how it feels to be pregnant after a preemie, and honestly sometimes it’s surreal. You see 3 & 1/2 years ago, having another baby was faaaaar from our minds. I had given birth to our son Jaxson at 22 weeks 6 days and we endured the NICU roller coaster for 4 months! And although he came home relatively healthy and didn’t have any long lasting complications, the thought of going through pre term labor again was scary. We enjoyed loving on our first born and little miracle. It wasn’t until he was a little over 2 that we played with the idea of trying again.
I kept feeling a tug in my heart and a desire to have another baby. I prayed and asked God for guidance. I didn’t want what He didn’t want for us. While in my waiting for guidance I couldn’t shake the baby fever and I knew that this feeling had to be supernatural. I had healed emotionally from my whirlwind pregnancy and birth with my son and I was beginning to get excited about the possibilities of a future pregnancy.
Prior to getting pregnant I wanted to make sure I found the perfect OBGYN and was well informed. I wanted to discuss my history and a plan of care going into a new pregnancy that would be deemed high risk. While we knew nothing would be 100% guaranteed, we did know that being well equipped was necessary. Once my husband and I had a consult with my now OB, everything just felt right. She shares the same faith as us, she reviewed my history and came up with the best care plan and ultimately really believed that she could help me carry to term.
All of these things helped us feel comfortable and confident in moving forward to having 1 more baby! Getting pregnant wasn’t our challenge, but staying pregnant is! I went through a miscarriage in Feb. 2018 and it really did catch me off guard. It was hard to understand why we had to endure something so painful. After a few months of healing, we decided to try again and here I am now 34 weeks pregnant with our 2nd little miracle!
The journey to get here today hasn’t been easy. I was very sick with hyperemsis gravedirum until 18 weeks. I have been watched so very closely by my OB- I was oral progestrone from 6-12weeks and then I began Makena shots (a progesterone shot given weekly to help avoid pre term labor) at 16 weeks. In between that time I am also being seen by my OB and her sonographer every 2 weeks to check my cervix and make sure it was long (not funneling) and closed! At 24 weeks I did receive a round of steroids for baby girl’s lungs “just in case” but thankfully I didn’t go into pre term labor.
There have been days throughout this journey where I have felt nervous, anxious, uncomfortable and scared. But in those moments, I’ve reminded myself to just take things one day at a time. I can’t let fear control me or stop me from enjoying this pregnancy. I can’t say that I trust God but live in fear of what “could happen”. Keeping a positive headspace is so important when you are pregnant. Remembering that each pregnancy is different is crucial. So I’ve allowed myself to truly FEEL the hard, but I don’t stay there. I let it go and eat something satisfying :) and because of what I’ve previously gone through, it’s helped me to appreciate each day carrying this precious baby girl. I embrace every little thing and I don’t take any of it for granted. That’s what giving birth to my 22 weeker 3 1/2 years ago taught me. I hope my journey inspires others to try again- in whatever may not have worked out the way you envisioned it the first time. There is a chance that the outcome wont be the same as before! Stay positive and hope for the best.